A Guy I Know

Sometimes people say things that are so weird they need to be shared. To balance how much of a dick move this is, I am committed to preserving their anonymity.

One of the Best

Guy I know: dude

one of the best names for a weiner

is a ‘hog’

Probably is worse

Guy I know:  i could be getting fucjed inthe arse
‘fucjed’
me:  hahahahahaahahhahaha
Guy I know:  is that worse than being fucked?

But Second is Nothing to be Ashamed of…

Guy I know:  hmmm
interesting that we both think our own nation are the worst
me:  i mean
your nation just perfected systematic extermination of a certain race
my nation
this is about to be good btw
my nation
Guy I know:  cant wait
me:  exterminated the land’s indigenous peoples
fought a war to maintain the enslavement of another race
caused many animals to go extinct
buried people from asia in mountains in an effort to build railroads
dropped the only nuclear bombs ever on human beings
and then fought some wars over oil
also
we unleashed reality tv on the world
what have oyu done lately?
Guy I know:  HAHAHAHAHAHA
wow
game over argumentS

Material Girl

Guy I know:  im wearing sweatpants right now
sweat pants  and no top
this is the life
listening to madonna
Guy I know:  and eating yogu

Keyser Romney

Guy I know:  the greatest trick republicans ever played was convincing poor white people in the south that they have common interests

With Great Power Comes Great - Oh Look, a New Call Me Maybe Parody Vid

me:  i OWN the internet
literally
Guy I know:  you actually do man

there is not a thing that could hide from you on the internet

me:  hahahahahahahahahha
imagine if i actually used that brainpower
to like do work
Guy I know:  hahahahha
:d
you would be takin over the world mate
me:  pretty much
oh well
goes on twitter and Retweets jokes about sex
Guy I know:  hahahaha

Finding That Extra Gear

me: prolly ran/walked liek 4 miles this AM
4 or 5
Guy I know:  i don’t think i could run that
me:  hahaha
you could
if the klan was after you

Causation as Correlation

Guy I know: seriously
i was joking about finding an AA meeting
kinda kidding
i mean
i don’t need to drink
i just do it cause its fun
couldn’t go to AA for the same reason i don’t go to church
too much of a time commitment
same reason i don’t have a gf too i guess

#SCOTUS With the Mostest

Guy I know:  i should have looked to see how many friends i had this morning
and then checked back again later today.
to see how many people unfriended me